`Q’ BLOGGERS: Lucy the Slut

All this week on Theater Dogs, the denizens of Avenue Q will be sharing their thoughts while their show continues at San Francisco's Orpheum Theatre through Sept. 2. Many thanks to the cast of Avenue Q and to the staff of SHN and Best of Broadway for bringing Q to Theater Dogs. And like the show itself, the blog entries are not for children.And now, without further ado, I'd like to introduce Lucy the Slut, a New York "entertainer" whose goal is to make her audience "feel good" and "feel special.""I am absolutely thrilled to be in the Bay Area for four solid weeks. The meer mention of San Francisco stimulates me. Sexually. In case any gentlemen are reading this and are interested in my pre-performance rituals, I’ve listed them here: 1) Share a shower with my afternoon date; do a vocal warm-up in said shower with an orgasm. 2) Go to Espresso Roma Cafe on Fillmore to have my cigar and triple espresso. 3) Find an attractive, rich man to drive me to the theatre. Enjoy him sexually on the way downtown to warm-up my lips. These three steps are key to a fantastic show. If you’d like to be my driver, I go for my cigar at 5pm daily. Otherwise, you can meet me at the stage door post-performance and escort me home*. While in SF, I’m looking forward to mingling with some local celebrities. My sources tell me that Gavin Newsom might be a good choice since he’s recently shown a preference for blondes. If you know him, please tell him that my show is out at 10:10pm* and he should have a limousine waiting. I’d also like to take this opportunity to plug my upcoming performance at the “Alley” in Oakland. Rod Dibble asked me to make an appearance next week and I plan to sing numbers from Debbie Does Dallas the musical and The Life. As always, dvds of Girls Gone Wild part 7 will be available for $85 (yes, it’s that good)."*I’m a sure thing.(In the touring production, Ms. Slut is brought to vibrant life by puppeteer Kelli Sawyer)For information about Avenue Q visit www.shnsf.com.